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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Vodka is Cheaper than Dinner for Two


 

We're not going to tell you what to do this Valentine's Day. Or who, for that matter. It is a basic fact of life and sneaky commercial forces that it is going to happen, however, leaving you surrounded by heart-shapes, soppy poems, and encouraging marketing stunts to make you buy stuff nobody wants or needs. BAD NORWEGIAN will not give you heart-shaped, rhyming sales pitches. Our A:Gent has instead found a rather different collection of Valentines for those of you who are not so into this kind of thing...

So, whether you want to take a humoristic approach, a rude rhyming one, or a slightly creepy one, we've found the perfect greeting for you this V-Day.

Now, that is a fact. 

For those, umm, slightly intense people amongst you...

Wise adaptation for the single people, fabulous or not...

 

When you can't stop thinking about someone...Like, ever.

Nothing wrong with a bit of romance, guys. It is the day of love, after all. And fucking. 

For those of you who like to, ahem, spell it out.

We even found one for those of you who intend to resolutely refuse V-Day. 

And one for those of you whose relationship has rather cooled off. 
If you'd like something even more original, and perhaps extra personal, you could always strike your best pose clutching a red heart-shaped balloon and send it to your lucky chosen one, like this guy... 

And last, but not least, here's one for those of you who have found the one...

Because Yoda is never, ever wrong.